So my hip flexors and back have been really tight and I figured I needed a massage. There’s a massage school down the street from work and its 30 for an hour massage. Sounds good right? Glad we’re on the same page.
I’ve been to this place before and it was decent. This time they told me it would be with a “bodyworker” student which I guess means they have had more school. His name was….wait for it….hazel. Yep. It gets better.
I get there, assume natural massage protocol (oh and by the way when you walk to the back they have little rooms seperated by curtains like a brothel. Your masseus takes you back there and theres prob 10 different sections. Seems legit) Everything was going well and he seemed to be finding the knots. Until….
He climbs ON the table as I am on my stomach so that he can get some leverage. So nimble that hazel. Semi normal I guess, just surprised me. Until….
He climbs ON MY BACK. Knees in my glutes and proceeds to take his hands off so he is completely balancing on my glutes with his knees….I wish I had a picture of the scene as well as my face. He tells me to flip on my back and then decides to tell me I need a lot of work. You have no idea sir.
Hazel stretches my IT band (google it) so my leg is across me. Then starts PUNCHING my glute. Punching. Like he’s the karate kid. Uhhhhhh. I prob will have bruises on my lip tomorrow from biting it so hard to keep from laughing.
So that was my day and I figured I would archive it to save for a future date when im feeling down.